Purely Physical
by Satan Abraham
Summary: Hiyori's decision to visit her old division didn't exactly go as planned. But dang, Akon had gotten attractive. Akon x Hiyori. Oneshot.


**Title: Purely Physical**

**Word Count: 1047**

**Summary: Hiyori's decision to visit her old division didn't exactly go as planned. But **_**damn**_**, Akon had gotten attractive. **

**Pairings/Characters: Akon x Hiyori **

* * *

She wasn't going to stay, but she did want to see the Twelfth before going back to the World of the Living. So, she took a back way, and a couple of random forests later, she was almost there.

There was just one more obstacle – some random guy in a lab coat, smoking a cigarette.

"Those things'll kill you," she pointed out before moving to continue on her way. He snorted.

"Already dead, princess."

When he turned to face her, she couldn't help but gape. Tall, muscular, would've been the hottest man on the planet… except those damn horns on his forehead, they definitely marred his appearance. He was staring at her with the exact same expression.

There was something weirdly familiar about this guy, but Hiyori couldn't quite place it. His voice had been slightly familiar, too…

"Are ya just gonna stand there with that stupid expression on your face, or are you gonna show me around?" she said, recovering quickly. He shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"You know where everything is, _Lieutenant," _he said. Hiyori blinked. Only two people had called her Lieutenant like that, and she seriously doubted that this was Kurotsuchi. "God, I can't belive I called you princess. I like to reserve that for pretty girls."

"Dammit Akon!" Hiyori howled, leaping for him. He nimbly dodged. "I can't believe I thought you looked hot!"

"You _what?" _Akon asked, standing still. Hiyori grinned and managed to grab ahold of him, pulling him down to her level. "You haven't grown."

"Shut the fuck up! You're a guy! They grow to freakish heights!" Hiyori snarled. Akon slipped out of his lab coat, leaving Hiyori with the empty garment. Damn. In her haste she hadn't gotten a very good hold on him.

And _damn _he was looking good.

Hiyori shook her head free of those creepy, quickly turning impure thoughts. Akon stood a few feet away from her, arms crossed, cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"So, why are you here, anyway?" Akon asked. Hiyori sneered, deciding to keep her eyes on his freakish little horns.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I would, actually. As third seat of the Twelfth Division, I can't afford to let outsiders in without a good reason," Akon said, completely dismissing the fact that she'd been lieutenant of the same division just a century earlier. This made her blood boil. She decided to insult him to make herself feel better.

"Just third seat? Couldn't surpass me after _all this time_?" she taunted and dropped her eyes to his just in time to see them narrow. She grinned. She'd hit a sore spot.

"If you insist, follow me. _And don't touch anything."_

Hiyori blinked, a little weirded out by the fact that he'd given in so easily. So, in true Hiyori fashion, she continued to taunt him.

"So, you ever hook up with that Ise chick? Or did she think you're too ugly for her taste? I know you're too ugly for my taste…" it wasn't until halfway through this weird, technology-oriented room that she got anything out of him.

"So, tell me, is Hirako as good in bed as they say?"

"_You fucking bastard_," Hiyori hissed, leaping onto his back. They fell to the ground with a crash, Akon losing his composure completely and fighting back with vigor. They rolled into a fat kid's desk, and, while sitting on Akon's chest, knees pinning down his arms, Hiyori decided to have a snack.

"Hey, Fatty, throw me a piece!" she yelled. Fatty took one look at her and dumped all of the candy he'd managed to salvage onto Akon's neck, mouthing 'sorry' to the taller man.

Hiyori unwrapped a lollipop and began to lick it slowly, enjoying the look on Akon's face. "_Get off of me."_

Hiyori pretended to think about it. "Nah, I don't think so."

Akon growled and wrestled one of his arms free, pulled the lollipop out of her hand (and chucked it back at the fat kid), and shoved her off. More wrestling ensued, until they fell to a rather convenient stop at the feet of who only could be Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Wearing a captain's haori, no less.

"You're back," he said, and Hiyori had barely enough time to enjoy the expression of total horror on his face before she was hoisted up by the back of her shirt. She twisted to look into the face of an emotionless girl. Pretty, but totally emotionless.

Akon sat up, scowling. Hiyori noted with some satisfaction that he was already bruising.

"I'll take care of her," he said, standing up and taking her from the emotionless chick. "Thank you, Lieutenant Kurotsuchi."

"Whoa. Whoa. Stop right there – he couldn't have gotten anyone to sleep with him! Hell, even if he could, and if they were the prettiest girl in the universe, they wouldn't be able to make-" to her extreme disgust, Akon slapped a hand over her mouth. She did the only logical thing – she bit it. He yelped and took it away.

"I'll get her out of here."

As soon as they were outside, Hiyori thought of something. "You owe me a lollipop."

"And you owe me a break and a cigarette. And that was technically Rin's," Akon pointed out. "Damn, you're heavy."

With that, he dropped her and turned to go back inside. Before he could step inside, however, she caught the back of his shihakusho. "Hey, aintcha going to make plans to get me a lollipop?"

Akon turned back to her, and once again she was stuck by how sexy he'd gotten. "What are you asking?" he sighed.

"I'm not _asking _anything. I'm demanding you take me on a date."

He took a step closer to her, and then he was right there, looking down at her. "And why would I do that?" he asked, voice dangerously low.

Hiyori stood on her tiptoes, face barely level with his upper chest. "Because ya wanna fuck me."

"Do you believe that to be true?"

"O'course."

Akon smirked, and then Hiyori, tired of all this stupid talk, hooked her arms around his neck and pulled herself up the rest of the way, capturing him in a rough kiss. When they broke for air, Akon said one last thing.

"Maybe you're right."

* * *

**NEW OTP. **

**Heh… not really. But they're up there. Maybe third favorite pairing? Right after Tesla x Orihime?**


End file.
